Because How Will I Ever Raise Her Right? | {Woman2Woman}


{I’ll read this to you today, if you like. Just click that triangle to the left above and turn the volume up…it may be quiet. Rest your eyes. Rest your soul. Sit a while and soak these thoughts in and don’t forget to leave your own in the comments if you care to. I’d love to hear your heart after I spill mine.}

The Key to Raising Her Right | meredithbernard.com | Living in the Light

I watch her and I see me.

In all her ill-fitting skin and temper throwing tantrums I see me. In every ear-to-ear smile and soul hearty laugh I see me. I see me in the good and I see me in the bad. More and more what I see scares me as much as it thrills me.

The thoughts come hard and fast and deep and strong and I wonder how will I raise her right. How will I ever raise “me” right? I’m so far gone so many days.

My cattle man agrees most often. I forget things. A lot. He joked (except he wasn’t really joking) before our son was born that he expected to get a call one day saying I had left our child somewhere. Because I forget a lot of things.

But I haven’t forgotten what it was to be me. At nine in my boyish body and then fifteen in the body I didn’t want and wish now I had loved enough to protect and cherish the way I thought someone else did.

I haven’t forgotten who I was at twenty in college with the rest of my life in front of me and not sure where I was going, but ready to get there and my dreams were bigger than my fear.

I haven’t forgotten who I was at twenty-five, after decisions made crashed dreams and lives and yet still there was hope for something better. Something more than. Something I knew I didn’t deserve, but I hoped for anyway.

I watch her and I see me. And I wonder how will I ever raise her right?

How will I make sure she knows…deep in her soul, not just in her head because she’s been told and she is a “good girl”…that she is fearfully and wonderfully made and there is nobody that could ever love her as much as the One who made her.

How will I make sure she gets that she’s worth waiting for, because nothing in this life worth having is free or easy. No person. No job.  Nothing except what saves us from all of life that isn’t free or easy.

Saying yes to the free Gift is easy…living is not, and if you think because you have Jesus that life is going to be easy, you are deceived. He never said that. His people never proved that. Not then. Not now.

But it’s worth it. This life in all it’s not so easy and not so free ways is worth it all…with Jesus.

How will I make sure she knows it’s worth it? The waiting. The dying to self. The giving all you have and getting nothing in return.

How will I make sure she knows this if I am not showing her day in and day out.

She mirrors me. My words. My ways. My tantrums. My cynicism. My laughter. My tears. My worry. My smiles. My world.

All of me she is. All of her I am. Mirrors my image every day, she does.

All of me He is. All of Him I am. Created in His image, we all are.

There’s only one way I’ll ever raise her right. That my life would pour out more of Him than it does me for her to drink in, soak up and spill out. 

Because no matter what we like to think, our girls are watching. They are watching and listening and learning…from us. From their mamas and sisters and mama figures. Even if she says she “don’t want to be nothing like you”…she will. Yeah, you know that, too, right? 

She’ll say the same things to her daughter. She’ll embarrass her the same way you did and your mama did you. It’s inevitable. I’m sure God uses all of that to humble even the loftiest of His girls. I know He has, me. Right down to the size ten feet He gave me like hers.

Yeah, that’s the only way I’ll ever raise her right. Right into His safe, loving arms. By showing her how to get there.

Woman2Woman Linkup Button | meredithbernard.com | Living in the Light

It’s #Woman2Woman Wednesday again, born of my desire to talk about “woman stuff “ in a way that builds the sisterhood up and always points us towards Christ. Always and in ALL grace.

If you have a blog and would like to join the link-up, we would love to have your beautiful self! If you do, please link back to this site (use the button if you wish) and also please comment on the person linked up before you. We are all about sharing love and grace here.

If you don’t have a blog, we would still love to have your comments here and at any other links you have the time and grace to visit. You can also spread the love with hashtag #woman2woman on twitter, Instagram and Facebook. And if you love an image…would you pin it? Pretty please? Much love ladies! xoxo, Meredith

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  • […] Linking-up with Woman2Woman and Tell His Story today. Come join us and read some of my favorite bloggers’ hearts over […]ReplyCancel

  • […] requests as I would be honored to stand with you in prayer.With Hope,JenniferP.S. Linking-up with Woman2Woman and Tell His Story today. Come join us and read some of my favorite bloggers’ hearts over […]ReplyCancel

  • […] said it before, nothing in life worth having comes free or easy. Especially not a God-sized […]ReplyCancel

  • I echo so many of your words here. Now that my daughter is 20 (yes, 20!) I’ve done all I can do to raise her right. She’s always been in God’s hands, but seems to be there even more so now that she’s no longer living at home. God has our children. I couldn’t be more thankful! Keep up the great work, fellow mom! You’re doing a great job leading her to the One who loves her most. 🙂ReplyCancel

    • I’m behind on replying from last week…thank you for visiting, Julie and for linking-up. I always appreciate your words!! You are SO right, God has our children. Period. Love that reminder this morning…bless you friend. 😉ReplyCancel

  • Jennifer

    This is so beautiful and moving as I read this and my little mirror image is laying on the couch across the room. I pray that all of us moms get through this adventurous thing called parenting and lead our girls to God. Thank you, Meredith, for these words, today.ReplyCancel

    • I pray we all get through this adventure, as well, Jennifer. I’m just so glad to not be alone raising these daughters!! (and sons. 😉 )

      Bless you and yours, Jennifer. I’m so glad God has used you so mightily in my own life and in so many others. Love you.ReplyCancel

  • Okay…so I couldn’t sleep last night. So when your post dropped into my email (whenever it was…midnight?) – I soaked it up, and I was hanging on every word. Mostly because, oh my word. Luke is not a girl, but I feel the SAME way. I have so much baggage…and wasn’t raised in a way that I learned boundaries…nor did I ever understand my value as a person. Therefore, I was a hot mess through college and my early-mid 20’s. I had no clue. And my biggest prayer is that Luke will leave this household knowing who he is in Christ…that he will gain a heart of wisdom during these childhood years. and that most of all…he’ll know Jesus loves him and cares for him way more than his mom every could. Sigh. I get you. And your words just string my own thoughts together beautifully. 🙂ReplyCancel

    • Girl, I was a hot mess right along with you. Imagine that. 😉 I get you, too, and I’m so glad God gave us each other to “get.” 😀 You are awesome and your new blog is awesome and I’m so happy that the rest of the world can get to know you and love you, now, too. Hugs.ReplyCancel

  • I loved listening to this. It was as if we were having coffee together. Thank you for this wisdom!ReplyCancel

    • And I love that thought, Jennifer! Maybe I’ll do it again sometime with that very thought in mind. 😀ReplyCancel

  • A beautiful tribute to your daughter Meredith. I have a stepson who primarily lives with his mom in another country but I too hope that all of his parents, including me, with the most loving of good intentions can lead him straight to God.ReplyCancel

    • Thank you, Kassandra. 🙂 It’s a high calling, but we have a Mighty God who is able to lead and help us every step of the way…thankfully even after we make missteps. Thank you for being here!ReplyCancel

  • So beautiful. She is so blessed to have you as her mama. Strength to you, sister, as you continue this monumental task of mothering in the shadow of His wings.ReplyCancel

  • Ann

    Great post today. Great to hear your voice. Love you and Austin!
    Aunt AnnReplyCancel

  • This is such a wonderful post, Meredith. More of him and less of me. Yes, yes yes! I have been thinking these same things lately about my strong willed two (almost three) year old. He is so unpredictable sometimes. Thank you for this reminder that Jesus is the one I need to compare myself to, and no one else.ReplyCancel

    • Oh, these strong-willed toddler years…that will soon be strong-willed teenage years before we know it. I think that’s what scares me the most. Trusting God to do a mighty work in me as He does it in my kids…praying same for us all. Love you!ReplyCancel

  • “How will I make sure she knows she’s worth it?” And am I showing them? A question I ask daily in this parenting battle field. Prayerful and walking purposefully today with you to raise them to KNOW by SHOWING! Thank you for this beautiful reminder!ReplyCancel

    • Thank you, Jamie. Your words always move me to MOVE. You are a blessing and I’m so glad you are here!! Love you.ReplyCancel

  • Ginger

    Ahh,,,the parenting heart, Meredith. Here’s the cup of joy, friend – that we could mess up this side of crazy and He will still seek out, woo and chase the heart of our children. Woo Hoo! That’s good news for me, friend. 🙂 Thank the Lord He is working in them already….and, you are doing FAR better than you think. (because I know how I think) 🙂ReplyCancel

    • Yes, Ginger, I’ll take that cup of joy now. 😉 It is a beautiful mystery how we can parent and mess up and God can still make right, isn’t it? Woo Hoo is right!! So thankful for you and your words and your heart. Also thankful you are here!! Love having you…blessings to you this week.ReplyCancel

  • Awesome idea- I want to hear it, but it’s not working for me- must be something with my computer.:/ Blessings friend- your voice matters!ReplyCancel

    • Oh pooh, hate the voice didn’t work for you. Thank you for being here and linking up. You are a blessing always!!! Love you, friend.ReplyCancel

  • […] up with Holly @ Testimony Tuesday, Beth @ ThreeWordWednesday , Meredith @ Woman2Woman , and Jennifer @ Tell His Story […]ReplyCancel

  • Nonie

    I think this may be your best post ever. Heartfelt and powerful. Austin is one lucky girl. This goes in your archives for safe keeping. Good choice for the recording.
    Love you.ReplyCancel

    • Those are some powerful words from you, Nonie, and uplifting and encouraging. Thank you for loving me…LOVE YOU!!ReplyCancel

  • […] up with my friends today on this wonderful blog…www.MeredithBernard.com – {Woman2Woman}     […]ReplyCancel

  • What a wonderful gift to wake this morning to your sweet voice and this beautiful message! We’re all just a mess without Him, aren’t we? So thankful for His amazing grace and mercy that somehow brings beautiful out of all our unlovely and blesses us with the gift of raising these precious treasures as He continues to raise us. Love you, Meredith!ReplyCancel

    • So glad you thought it was a gift, Sabra. I want to hear your voice now! Yes, we are all just a mess without Him, for sure. So glad to have Him and to have you…Blessings on your week. Love you!ReplyCancel

  • […] up today with Three Word Wednesday, Woman2Woman and Coffee For Your […]ReplyCancel

  • Can’t wait to be able to listen to this (and I hope I don’t forget to come back). What a neat idea!!!

    I see myself in my eldest so.much. And what you have said is true – I want better for her than what I have done myself. The only way to get there is to show her the more perfect example, and that is something I am going to have to dedicate myself to working harder on (every day).ReplyCancel

    • Yes, don’t we always want better for ours than what we have done. I echo the same prayer, Kirsten. It’s not an easy road, but I think recognition is the first step in the right direction. Praying God guides, instructs and disciplines me on the way to make the path clear for my littles. Bless you and thank you for being here!ReplyCancel

  • Meredith- THIS is a legendary post. And what a treasure to hear it in your words. It was so powerful to listen to you speak this message. *tears here*. You so beautifully described all that flashes through my soul when I look into the eyes of my own children. Thank you for slowing down that moment and speaking into it. An your closing line is so perfect, “Yeah, that’s the only way I’ll ever raise her right. Right into His safe, loving arms. By showing her how to get there.” LOVE this! and you!ReplyCancel

    • Love you and your encouraging heart, Karen. You are more than a blessing to me. I can’t wait to feature you this week! Blessings!!ReplyCancel

  • This is a lovely post, Meredith. I have a daughter too. And I see herself in me. Actually what is funny/scary is seeing how much she and my mom are alike. (And so I have to admit I must be somewhere in that mix…)

    I want to raise my daughter right into the arms of God too.ReplyCancel

    • Thank you, Betsy. It is definitely funny/scary how much my daughter is like me, even at 3! :O I know you are a doing a beautiful job raising your children into the arms of God…I know that. Love you!ReplyCancel