Hi. My name is Meredith. I’m an angry mother…wife…woman.
Since this is my last month to live, I’m becoming ultra aware of my reality and how blissfully unaware I’ve been. The ugly truth is that I am an angry person. Not all of the time, but even some or most of the time is not the way I want to spend my last days with my family. Something has to change.
My friend whose actions prompted me to propel into this challenge has also asked to me read a book with her. Together we are plowing through Lysa Terkeurst’s “Unglued.” Seems she needs it and thinks maybe I could benefit, too. Sometimes a good friend can see what we don’t and an even better one will tell us in love and help us work through it.
What makes me a dying, angry woman? Oh, let me count the ways.
So yesterday as I commenced to yelling back at yelling children on the way home from pre-school and spitting rocks from tires after skidding to a halt in our dirt drive with threats galore, it appears I may have a problem.
And then after going back to said truck after getting groceries and kids deposited through tears in the house, and leaning on tailgate with head in hands, tears down face and a plea to God to “just help me,” it appears I may have a problem.
And then at the supper table after dealing with uncooked rice from a steamer that didn’t work the way I had hoped and 45 minutes to finish a supper that had been cooking all day, I’m reminded that I’m an angry woman and asked “why?”…it appears I may have a problem.
I stuck to my guns (for a change) and got my girl to bed in her own bed (for a change), with much more drama and many more tears. Then I opened that book that seems to be about the story of my life and read about changing thoughts in order to change actions.
It’s also in that other Book written to tell the story of my life. It says it’s possible, so it must be…this ability to renew minds and be transformed.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
There it is. Change your mind to change your heart to change your life.
Conform not to your world, but let your world conform to you…when your thoughts are worth conforming to.
Then be able and available to know and do God’s perfect will.
There is a formula worth figuring out. This is worth praying over and crying over and trying over.
I hope God can help this angry woman change before my time is up. More than my life is in the balance…this is my legacy to my family and I don’t want to go out this way.
How about you? Does your mind need renewing in some way today…to make way for a better tomorrow?
Day 8 of Living Like I’m Dying. Catch up all posts here and please come back for more. I’d be honored to have you on this journey with me. Also check out my friend Kirsten, the Indebted Mom, who is taking this challenge for 31 days with me. Follow my social media feeds and hashtag #livinglikedying31 for more photos and thoughts.
Welcome to the second #woman2woman Wednesday during this 31 day writers challenge I’ve embarked on and thank you for coming back! This time of sharing on Wednesdays is born of my desire to talk about “woman stuff “ in a way that builds the sisterhood up and always points us towards Christ. Always and in all grace.
If you have a blog and would like to join the link-up, we would love to have your beautiful self! If you do, please link back to this site (use the button if you wish) and also please comment on the person linked up before you. We are all about sharing love and grace here.
If you don’t have a blog, we would still love to have your comments here and at any other links you have the time and grace to visit. You can also spread the love with hashtag #woman2woman on twitter, Instagram and Facebook. And if you love an image…would you pin it? Pretty please? Much love ladies! xoxo, Meredith
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