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The truth every marriage needs to live love large.

Sometimes the best way to get an answer is to just ask. Sounds obvious, but we don’t always see the obvious, or is that just me?

I’ve been knowing that my man hasn’t felt as loved or appreciated as he should, but I also haven’t done anything about it. I’m too busy. Yeah, that excuse is so overrated.

A disclaimer here is that he doesn’t know I’m writing this series and my hope is that in 31 days he will know in many ways, which makes this challenge as personal as it can get for me. Is it too much to hope for a new “me” in such a short time?

Last night in the quiet of this house he built thirty years ago and in the still of this home we are still building day-by-day, I asked the question. “If I died tomorrow, would you know I loved you…and what can I do different to make you feel my love more?”

The words were heartfelt and tender, both of which can be hard for me to muster at times. My keyboard has a much better way of getting those feelings out than my mouth ever does.

In words as tried and true as the blue jeans and boots he puts on every morning, he answered as gracious and earnest as I had asked. Turns out he does know I love him, but yes, there is room for improvement.

It seems my perception and his perception are not on the same plane. Sure, every marriage has that, I suppose. But our perception is our truth and our truth is the lens of our world, which makes this fact incredibly important in the life and health of a marriage.

Our Perception is our Truth Lens on the World. | meredithbernard.com | Living in the Light

Today I purpose to start his day and mine in a way he doesn’t just assume he is loved, but he knows it. He knows it, because I show it…in word and deed. In a new way.

There are a million little ways to live love large.

Take this from God’s word and let it soak in deep today…

“My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.”

1 John 3:18-20 (The Message, emphasis mine)


Day 3 of Living Like I’m Dying. Thanks for being along for the ride…we are just getting started and I’m still not sure where we are going, but that’s how I tend to roll anyway. If you want to make sure you get my daily (hopefully) updates, please subscribe in the sidebar and/or follow any of my social media feeds. Please and thank you! xoxo, mb

Living Like I’m Dying | meredithbernard.com | 31 Days of Writing

 I’m also linking up with Kate Motaung and the gang for Five Minute Friday. This week’s prompt was {new}.

  • What a great question to ask, Meredith! Can I use that on my blog someday? (Of course, I’d give you credit.)

    The way you express your thoughts are so beautiful. And I can just picture you and your sweetie having this little conversation. “My perception and his perception are not on the same plane.” How often this is true in every marriage. To see from another’s perspective is eye-opening. And asking questions is indeed a great place to start seeing life from their eyes.

    Love this…and love you!ReplyCancel

    • You are silly, you can use anything of mine you want, Sabra. I miss and love you…we have to catch up before I leave this place. 😉 I’ll touch on friendships sometime this month before I go and yours is precious to me. XOXOReplyCancel

  • Yes, it’s easy to be “too busy” to show love in a big way. Sometimes we can find little ways to show big love. I really like the scripture passage you’ve included.ReplyCancel

  • Amen. What else can I say. Just Amen.ReplyCancel

  • Meredith, what a beautiful blog and beautiful words. It is so important to make sure our husbands know how much we value them, but sometimes when life gets busy, they are the easiest ones to push to the side. I really admire your bravery.ReplyCancel

  • Meredith – this was just so beautiful. Your words on perception are just profound and exactly what I needed to read! Thank you! I’m so grateful I just found your blog through the ’31 dayers’ FB page. New follower here! And I look forward to reading more!!ReplyCancel

    • Oh wow, thank you, Stephanie! I’m so glad you found me, too, and I look forward to visiting your site now. 😀 Thanks for coming on this journey with me…Blessings to you, friend. xoxoReplyCancel

  • Oh, Meredith~
    This post proves that death leads to so much beauty. The fact that you are willing to die to how you prefer to communicate in order to make sure your husband hears your message of love is truly Christlike. I so appreciate you taking us on this intimate journey. It’s beautiful to see love in action… when words aren’t enough. Love this!ReplyCancel

  • Meredith — a million little ways. It’s easy to forget how much the little actions of everyday can show love. Moving with you in this to be sure all my actions show love to the man Gods given me.ReplyCancel

  • A million little ways to live large! Beautiful truth – may today I make sure my action not just my words say “I love you” to the man Gods put in my life!ReplyCancel

  • My husband and I had this conversation earlier this week and like your husband responded, mine knows that I love him fervently but I don’t demonstrate it enough. So I vowed to do better because he is so deserving of it. Thank you Meredith for writing this post.ReplyCancel

  • Oh I should be more profound, but Meredith this is probably my favorite post ever by you. So tender. So beautiful. Praying for you on your journey. Much love. xoxoReplyCancel

  • Im with you – I express myself better in writing than in person. When my husband and I started dating, we did a lot of instant messenger chatting, so the written word is what our marriage is based on!

    You were brave to ask the question. I never have. Too scared of the answer.ReplyCancel

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