The realness of God.

At the intersection of faith and reality.

I’ve hit a roadblock. Or a crossroads. Or maybe…a bit of both.

A few weeks ago, I couldn’t keep the words from overflowing, but recently, they’ve all but dried up like the ground on our farm three weeks after a hard rain. As a writer, it’s one of my worst fears and something I’ve struggled with for years. I’ve never been good at “willing” words to come and honestly, I don’t ever want to be. I’d much rather write from a place of authenticity than a place of “Agh, I’ve got to.” After weeks of clinging to God in the wait, life has felt more like “now what?” after the deep exhale of hearing “You don’t have cancer.” What do I mean? Did I want cancer?

Of course not. But I have realized that in those weeks of waiting I really was clinging to God and really did feel the power of His peace in a way I’ve never known. Since dodging that life-altering bullet, I’ve found it hard to settle back into life as it was, and I would have never seen this coming, either.

In the wait, I found myself clinging to God for the unknown. In the aftermath, I find myself searching for the Spirit to keep leading in what still feels like a fog. It’s possible to have answers and still have questions. And that’s the crux of it all, I think.

The more I get to know God, the less I know of God, and yet the more I want to know. It’s a beautiful, tiring, thrilling, vicious cycle of getting closer, closer, closer, then taking a few steps back and running to catch up again. I just want to touch His hem. I just. want. Him.

I recently started reading “The Pursuit of God” by A.W. Tozer. For a book written in the 1940’s about a wandering church, it could have easily been written today and been as relevant. Then again, it could have been written about the Israelites. Some tales are as old as time, aren’t they?

This morning’s chapter was about the realness of God. (My computer doesn’t think realness is a word, but I’m not letting it be the boss of me. The realness of God is real, y’all.) This quote got me…

“Imagination is not faith. Faith creates nothing. It simply reckons upon that which is already there. God and the spiritual world are real.” -A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

Tozer goes on to say (I’m paraphrasing), “Our ‘other world’ as believers isn’t future, it’s present.”

What if we lived like that? What if we lived not only with the end in mind – our heavenly prize – but as if it was already here? As if we were already in the presence of the Lord, because we literally are if we have the Holy Spirit in us.

Why don’t we live like that? Why don’t I live like that? Why do I strive to do things in my own will when I have the power of the living God in me? Why would I want my will to be done instead of His perfect will?

I’m tired of living a life focused on what I don’t have, forgetting what I do have. And in Christ, I have it all. IN CHRIST WE HAVE IT ALL.

He is enough because we will never be.

Our wants will never be satisfied apart from Him.
Our needs will never be fulfilled in anything but Him.
Our lives will never be all He meant for them to be without Him in them.

I realize this post is a little scattered, but this is where I’m at right now. And if you can’t meet me where I’m at, that’s ok, because I know God can and will.

And even more so, if you feel like God can’t meet you where you’re at right now, He can and He will. Open His word and open your heart. And prepare to be changed, in only the best, hardest, most beautiful ways. Praise God.

Seeking Hope With You,
mb